Katie Price, aka 'Jordan', has startled her fans and millions of 'laptop wankers', by emerging from her latest round of plastic surgery in Los Angeles with one tit bigger than the other.
Price, who is married to that Peter Andre, had the tit-enlarging procedure carried out last week, but complications arose just after she came round from the operation. She turned suddenly, and crushed a doctor to death, but not before the unfortunate medic inadvertently sliced into her left breast with a scalpel, deflating it.
Mr Andre fainted, and had to be brought around by placing his head in his wife's crotch. He was later allowed to leave hospital in a wheelchair.
Price has since written a book about the incident, designed some dresses and hats, developed a new children's doll with lop-sided titties, and attended a photo shoot to show off her odd-sized oomlaaters.
What a fucking bore.
