Written by Everyman

Tuesday, 30 September 2008

image for Johnny Depp to be the new voice of Stephen Hawking
Stephen Hawking to sound like Captain Jack Sparrow

World famous boffin, Stephen Hawking, has announced he is to have a total image makeover and he is starting with his voice. The recognizable computer staccato is to be replaced by none other that Captain Jack Sparrow actor, Johnny Depp.

"The idea came from a chat I had with David Beckham" Hawking told this website. "I said that I was feeling in a rut and that my whole brand needed reworking. I feel I have been this world famous wheelchair bound boffin for too long."

Apparently Becks was more than happy to help and said that Hawking should start with the voice (ironically an area the football player has never mastered). Hawking said that the other changes he is likely to make are:

  • Change his name to Hawks
  • Have a number of tattoos
  • Pimp up his wheelchair ride
  • Have a set of photo shoots with Nuts and Hello
  • Have an affair with Rebecca Loos


Johnny Depp was over the moon. "Hey, I've done some mega weird roles but this takes the biscuit. Maybe Hawks should be a pirate in Pirates 6" He winked at the physicist as he said this, but Hawks just stared back.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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