Paris Hilton Is Escapee From Witch Mountain

Written by Jalapenoman

Monday, 21 July 2008


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Is she a good witch or a bad witch?

Paranormal researchers have discovered that Hollywood Socialites Paris and Nicky Hilton are actually twins who escaped from Witch Mountain (a story first fictionalized in the 70's movies Escape From Witch Mountain and Return to Witch Mounain).

Paris and Nicky are the nieces of Kim Richards, star of the first movie (who actually played herself). Kim's sister is Kathy Richards Hilton, mother of the aforementioned Paris and Nicky.

When told of the discovery and asked if she had any psychic powers, Paris said that "I've always been able to make men's penises stand on end. Men also tend to obey my every desire; I can make any one of them want to sleep with me and buy me liquor."

When asked if she was going to play a part in the upcoming movie, Race to Witch Mountain, Paris replied that "I don't like races. It's just cars driving in circles and a bunch of smelly exhaust."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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