Written by Monkey Woods

Saturday, 19 July 2008

image for Cheeky Girl Dumps Lembit Opik For Nick Clegg
Gunning for the leadership

Cheeky Girl singer Gabriela Irimia has dumped her Lib Dem MP boyfriend Lembit Opik because he is strange, according to her mother, who said her daughter prefers Lib Dem leader Nick Clegg, who is "more rugged".

Margrit Irimia Scmal, 102, said her daughter liked rugged types, but Opik wasn't rugged at all, and, at one point, she had thought he was gay. Scmal said:

"My daughter is so young. She's 25, and he's 43. He's old enough to be her father, and who knows, he might be. Nick Clegg is more her type."

Clegg is only 41, and has a link with Eastern European nobility. His father is half-Russian, and his great-great-great grandfather was the Attorney General of Senate in Imperial Russia, Ignaty Zekrevsky. His Dutch mother Hermance van den Wall Bake (honest!) was, as a little girl, a Japanese prisoner-of-war in Jakarta. Clegg, as a result, speaks five languages, and is a right Clever Clogs.

Scmal told TheSpoof.com:

"Noble, Russian, rugged, and the leader. He earns more money. That's her type."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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