Kitten Poetry is New Black Death

Written by Midgetgems

Saturday, 7 June 2008

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Kitten poetry is the new Black Death according to sociology expert Dr. Erica Mans.

"Anything to do with fluffy kittens is not only grossly demeaning to women but trashes society in general. People are robbed of the right to exorcise existential angst" she explains. "People on buses would much rather hear poetry written by ruined ex-hippies attempting to expel their demons. I know because I've written stuff myself. Would you like to hear some?"

In a lecture delivered to students at Harvard, where she lectures to Harvard students, she performs an analysis of verses from her own 12,000 page anthology entitled 'Scratched & Purr Verse'. Students are asked to come up with interpretations of lines such as, 'Aww, cutie, cutie, sweetie pie/scratch my hand and you will die/ an inglorious death'.

Her maverick style has been likened to that of John Betjeman but those closest to her say that she has suffered much rejection in her life, most notably from card producers.

"Her name being and anagram of Americans means she's not been able to crack the Middle Eastern market either" say friends.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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