Written by Pointer

Monday, 7 April 2008

image for Duck Gets Order of Protection
Mallard Fillmore, President of the Long Island Duck Union resents the protection of Peking Duck

A Peking duck in Central Islip, Long Island, NY has been granted an order of protection from a Suffolk County judge.

Duck owner Janet "Daffy" Lippincott told the court that a band of young gourmands bounded over her fence with scallions, hoi sin sauce and Chinese pancakes on March 17th.

Mrs Lippincott successfully fought off the revelers by throwing them cans of Guinness and Corned Beef sandwiches, according to Roy "Donald" Gross, head of the Suffolk County Society for the Protection of Peking Ducks.

Gross told the TheSpoof.com food editor, Daisy A. L'Orange that this is the first truly violent attack on a Peking duck in Suffolk County since the establishment of the SCSPPD.

When asked why the society was founded in the first place, Donald Gross became very agitated and quacked profusely. The trespassers are defending their actions by claiming that a protection order cannot be granted to succulent slices of duck breast marinated in honey with the skin cooked to a delicate crisp.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: duck

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