Written by Monkey Woods

Saturday, 4 August 2007

image for Harvey Nichols To Stop Selling Liver Pate
Liver pate, anyone?

Harvey Nichols, the posh people's shop that many working class folk treat as a sort of Mecca, will stop selling foie gras, senior executives announced yesterday.

The move follows a long campaign higlighting the despicable, disgraceful and disgusting methods used in making the delicacy, a form of liver pate.

Animal Rights campaigners say that ducks and geese are chased around a caged farmyard enclosure by a fox to worry them, then force-fed their own excrement. The pate is then extracted from the birds the next day by 'large men' who sit on the backs, forcing them to choke, and to vomit the pate into a bucket.

Donald Snobbe of Harvey Nichols, who have stores in London, Leeds, Manchester, Edinburgh, Birmingham and Dublin, said it had been a "commercial decision", and that:

"We won't be replacing existing stocks of foie gras. It's a terrible way to make food. However, the remaining stock will be sold at a higher price because it is now more exclusive, and therefore more desirable to the foolish Pretend Middle Classes."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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