Bo Donaldson, Heywoods, First Class, Paper Lace: Bush "Dumb"

Funny story written by ZiaUl-Hack

Thursday, 29 April 2004

(Blakeslee, PA) Bo Donaldson and the Heywoods, a band briefly famous for its 1974 hit, "Billy, Don't Be A Hero", has gone on record as describing president George W. Bush as "dumb".

It is not clear at this point if the statement issued from Mr. Donaldson himself, or from any of the "Heywoods". In fact, at least at present it is not clear if there are, in fact "Heywoods", and what , if anything, they might be. Nonetheless, the pronouncement, made at a local "WaWa" food store, stands.


The statement follows one of similar tone and magnitude which issued from singer Rickie Lee Jones a few months back. Jones, who enjoyed brief popularity in 1979 with the single "Chuck E's In Love" and then essentially disappeared from sight for two decades, recently got a bit of press after having prated to the BBC about the alleged iniquities of the Patriot Act. While it is not clear that the Donaldson/Heywoods pronouncement was prompted by Jones' risible outburst, cynical observers suggest distressing similarities between the two.


Following the Donaldson/Heywoods statement, the band First Class, remembered solely for its 1974 hit, "Beach Baby", issued a statement to the effect that Mr. Bush and "his Iraq War" were "really DUMB and all about oil and, like, imperialism". Thereafter, the Andrea True Connection, dormant since its blockbuster 1976 hit "More, More, More" , indicated that it believed America's Iraqi involvement to be solely about "bombing brown people."

Finally, and almost simultaneously, the group Paper Lace, remembered solely for its 1974 hit "The Night Chicago Died", published a statement characterizing president George W. Bush as a "dumb religious guy who likes to bomb nonwhite people so we can get cheap oil and stuff and keep gasoline prices down."

Other washed-up Seventies one-hit-wonder acts such as Wild Cherry, Nick Gilder, Vicki Sue Robinson and Walter Murphy indicated that they had no comment on the issues involved.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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