Written by queen mudder

Tuesday, 26 February 2008

image for Naomi Campbell checks in for a Brazilian
Preparing for surgery in a Sao Paulo clinic today

Sao Paulo - (Vagus Nerve Mess): Supermodel Naomi Campbell has flown in to Brazil for a clitoris transplant. Reports from Sao Paulo state her own little pinkie recently fell off from too much crack-fueled wear and tear.

"Blame a three week sex orgy on board the Tits," LAFagHagSlagMag reported today, "Prince Jefri Archer of Brunei's boat, named after his 2006 fling with Anna Nicole Smith."

Campbell, 37, has been on an international clitoris transplant register since the new year's eve party disaster which saw her accidentally flush her own mons veneris firecracker down the lavatory.

Brazilian sex surgery doctors were told the replacement clit had to be from a black or Latino woman and preferably one in her late teens or early twenties.

The dusky supermodel was even prepared to pay top whack for a brand new one from the same dodgy body-parts black market that sees international trade in eyes and kidneys.

LaFagHagSlagMag reported earlier this year that Campbell may have trawled London's Harley Street FMG specialists in a bid to but a new clitoris from teenage girls corralled into a clitorectomy on ethnic or other grounds.

"We think she couldn't find one big enough to fit on the outside of her snatch, though," an editorial in the LA celeb paper added thoughtfully.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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