Bruce Forsyth to Be Engaged To Heather Mills: The Saga Continues

Funny story written by IN SEINE

Saturday, 23 February 2008

image for Bruce Forsyth to Be Engaged To Heather Mills: The Saga Continues
A 35 year old Bruce Forsyth with not a wrinkle in sight

One of Britain's iconic TV entertainers, Bruce Forsyth who claims he is 35 years-old but looks about 80 has just announced that he is to be engaged to Heather Mills. Forsyth met his latest love at his birthday party which was held at licence payers' expense at London's Ritz Hotel only last night.

Brucie, as he is known to his friends, has become a bit of a marital expert because he has been through so many - 5 (as far as we know!) thinks that 'life is a bit of a game' is set to become one of Britain's wealthiest TV celebrities when he launches his book 'Life on the Game' next month. Furthermore, if he does wed 'our evor' as he affectionately calls her, and the marriage does not work out for some reason or other then he will 'divvy up' her divorce proceedings which far outweigh his own.

In a frank interview with In Seine News, Brucie said;

"I have always been a lady's man and it is a bit of a hobby, collecting wives. If Henry VIII can have six, then I'm sure I can do at least 12! I'm only 35 you know and there's plenty of life in the old dog yet."

Our reporter asked him;

"Why do you look 80 then?"

His reply was;

"Listen you're only as old as the woman you're feeling and at this moment in time I feel 35, besides I can't help it if girls find me sexy. Who knows, 'if you play your cards right' what'll happen?"

Our reporter then quizzed him on the black & white film clips with Norman Wisdom.

"Oh that cannot possibly be me - I'm only 35 - they only had colour when I first hit the showbiz screen. What you saw there was my dad - we do bear a remarkable likeness' you know!"

In Seine News then inquired about his excessive use of Botox.

"Botox? What's that? If you mean why do I look so young and have no 'crows' feet', well I am only 35 and my chin is rather large and gravity pulls the wrinkles from the top of my head, down naturally. Anyway it's been nice to see you nice; I'm off to see our Evor now"

Apparently Bruce IS 35 (in dog years!)

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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