Hollywood was rocked by recently published findings indicating what no one ever dared suspect: that vacant starlet Kate Bosworth, 25, is capable of more than two facial expressions.
The initial discovery was made in May 2007 by 15-year-old Typhani Winslow of Wexford, PA. Winslow was perusing photos of Bosworth looking for thinspiration when she found a high-resolution paparazzi photo of the actress shopping in Beverly Hills.
"I totally couldn't believe it!" Said Winslow via telephone from her home. "This is huge! Like, 'seeing Bigfoot' huge. Am I going to get a reward for this?"
Winslow e-mailed the photo along with several others to Ripley's Believe It Or Not, who then forwarded the materials to Stanford University to be studied by a top-notch research team. After nearly eight months of exhaustive study, the team released their findings on February 19th.
"It is indeed a third facial expression," said lead researcher Dr. Edwin Shure. "We have had our hopes raised many times in the past only to discover that it was the way the light bounced off of her dead, glassy eyes. But this time is for real. We're all stunned."
The expression, dubbed Winslow 3 after its discoverer, is described as being "kinda cranky." It is assumed that it will be added to Bosworth's current repertoire, which consists of "pursed-lipped on the red carpet," and "mouth hanging open, trying to be sexy." Not everyone agrees, however.
"It won't last," claims an unnamed British actor. "I thought I saw a third one myself when I dated her--er, I mean when a friend of mine dated her--but it only went on for about a day, never to be seen again. Look her in the eye and you can actually feel the life being sucked right the bloody hell out of you. That isn't gonna change."
Still, Shure is hopeful.
"There's more where this one came from," insisted Dr. Shure. "We just have to keep a watchful eye out."
Bosworth's rep could not be reached for comment.
