Winehouse parents try to section troubled daughter

Funny story written by queen mudder

Wednesday, 14 November 2007

image for Winehouse parents try to section troubled daughter
Paramedics failed to find the troubled singer yesterday

Camden Town, London - (Psychotic Mess): For nearly two hours yesterday Amy Winehouse hid in a wheelie-bin behind her Jeffrey Archer Place house in Camden as frantic paramedics trawled through her home in a bid to find and section her on her parents' express orders.

Winehouse has been demented with fury after her husband Blake Fidel-Civil was charged last week and remanded at HMP Belmarsh on trial-fixing charges.

Her parents said yesterday her usually bizarre behavior became a lot weirder when she threatened going cold turkey while chained to railings outside her husband's jail.

"Amy drug-free and sober is like you and me on mescalin," Mitch Winehouse said today.

"Last time she tried detoxing in a controlled environment several rehab clinicians ended up needing blood transfusions after falling into a psychosomatic delusional state.

"The only thing that works on Amy is London Zoo's Rhino House stun gun followed by a course of opiate and cannabinoid-related herbicide colonic irrigation therapy, same as Princess Diana had."

Blake Fidel-Civil is said to be crawling up the wall at Belmarsh.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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