Cruise & Cruz Split - Cruise on cruise

Funny story written by Mark

Friday, 26 March 2004

image for Cruise & Cruz Split - Cruise on cruise
Cruise and Cruz

Hollywood couple Tom Cruise and Penelope Cruz have split up it is reported. Their three year relationship is said to have finished at the end of January and is believed to have been amicable.

The lovelorn couple met on the set of Vanilla Sky (2001), a crap and over-the-top confusing remake of the Spanish film "Abre los ojos" (1997).

After the split an untrustworthy source told me that Cruise is believed to have taken a six-month cruise on board a navy ship, allegedly in preparation for his next role in a new film "Pink Sea" in which he plays a young (remembering Cruise is 41, but then again a short 5' 7" 41 year old), naval private who is confused about his sexuality.

Obscene and Terrible

Shirty Shorty, who already gets paid an obscene amount of money for speaking in front of a camera ($75,000,000 alone for one film), is said to be happy to continue making lots of money for little work. "It's like having a license to print money, and I get to wear make-up" He is quoted as saying.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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