New Eastwood Film: Lord of the Magnum: The Return of Dirty Harry

Funny story written by Lorenzo Lee

Thursday, 4 March 2004

image for New Eastwood Film: Lord of the Magnum: The Return of Dirty Harry
Eastwood Calling Jackson a "Punk"

Hollywood, CA- Filming for the next installment of Eastwood's long-running franchise of the "Dirty Harry" movies has started today. The tentative title of the film, an expected blockbuster at the box-office, is "Lord of the Magnum: The Return of Dirty Harry."

This comes after the disappointing loss of Clint Eastwood's "Mystic River" to Peter Jackson's "Lord of The Rings" for Best Director category at the recently concluded Academy Awards.

"That (expletive) punk was just lucky. I'll show him next year. He better not make another movie, or else he might just get too lucky, if you know what I mean," Eastwood said, with his trademark hiss and raspy voice. "I'll bet you this (expletive) punk is related to that (expeletive) Michael. There's both white, and both weirdos."

After a deep sigh, he continued, "This is a sign...of another... career change for me," said Eastwood, 73, who has slowly built his reputation as a genuine American filmmaker and icon by making commercially viable movies to finance his more sophisticated movies, among which were the Academy Award winning "Unforgiven" in 1992 and this year's "Mystic River." "I was bettin' to win on this one, but that (expletive) sweaty punk beat me to it. There's a lesson to be learned here...a man's got to know his limitations."

When asked whether he is proud that his two actors, Sean Penn and Tim Robbins, won both Best Actor and Best Supporting Actor for their roles in "Mystic River", Eastwood replied: "Who gives a (expletive)? You think I care? They were just lucky. "

Elijah Wood is slated to make a guest appearance in the new film. Peter Jackson, after hearing of the news, cut his hair like a U.S. marine and began weight training immediately.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more