Repo man comes hammering on Madonna's country pile

Written by queen mudder

Saturday, 29 September 2007

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Our on her ass: Madonna's claim to Ashcombe Manor has gone down the pan

Wiltshire - (Real Estate Mess): Repossession documents for the immediate seizure of Madonna's Ascombe Manor country pile have been signed in the Chancery Division of the Royal Courts of Justice for enforcement this week.

The legal papers allege that the 49 year-old entertainer obtained ownership of the property 'by deception, coercion and fraudulent initially rented the property to her in 1995 as a weekend retreat.

"Holding a gun at point-blank range to the property owner's skull while threatening to pour cyanide down his wife throat is a gross violation of the 1990 UK Tenants and Landlords Housing Act," attorneys acting for the plaintiffs are maintaining.

Madonna was allegedly facing bankruptcy in 1997 after losing a series of defamation lawsuits over copyright to lyrics of some of her best-selling material when the novel scheme got into her head.

Having seized ownership control of the 18th century Wiltshire Manor house the singer also came across the owner's offshore bank accounts relating to the property and immediately helped herself to the contents.

And in a final icing on the cake scenario the wily peroxide croonette then got Bill Clinton to frame the North Koreans into threatening the property owners' grandmother with an atomic bomb planted under her retirement home in Eastbourne.

The Material Girl has been sitting pretty ever since.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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