Written by queen mudder

Wednesday, 15 August 2007

image for Vitamin jab, human growth hormone or smack top-up? Madonna's mid-air poser
Mainlining human growth hormone, just to look human to the world?

Atlantic Occean Airspace - (Rioters): First Class passengers on a recent New York to London flight reported feeling 'shocked and sickened' as Madonna began injecting herself "in the ass" with an unidentified substance halfway through the flight, claiming it was a regular top-up of a prescribed substance vital to her wellbeing.

For years rumors in London have suggested that the so-called vitamin shots are nothing other than human growth hormone, so vital to maintain that realistic homo sapience appearance by Kabbalah cult members.

But other sources close to London's Harley Street medical zone insist that Madonna's veins are close to collapse without the daily maintenance dose of heroin that has eluded detection by the public gaze for the last twenty years or so.

"She shoots in the groin close to the bikini area so no one can tell by looking at her arms," a source confided.

Madonna will be 49 on 16 August, the day which co-incidentally is the 30th anniversary of Elvis's drug overdose death.

Her publicist has always fended off questions about the singer's reputed drug use and scoffed at her needing human growth hormone "just to maintain a human look" about her features.

A devotee of the dumbass Kabbalah cult, Madonna once told press reporters that her bodily fluids were so powerful they could neutralise harmful radiation bursts.

And her Mystical Kabbalah Water, once dubbed "a load of old cobblers" by Nutrition Daily Magazine has made her an even richer woman than revenue from her music.

Rabbi Berg, her guru and mentor, is a con artist.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Madonna

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