Everything you wanted to know about Bra's, but were afraid to ask.

Funny story written by Kent Pete

Saturday, 4 August 2007

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image for Everything you wanted to know about Bra's, but were afraid to ask.
A bra yesterday.

In a fascinating new book due to be published next month, Professor Peter Trainor from Slade Green in Kent has become the first British Historian to explore in it's entirety the history and sociological importance of the female bra.

Talking to our Arts correspondent Lucy Alexander, Professor Trainor explained his interest.

"Did you know for example that back in 2500 B.C., warrior Minoan women on the Greek isle of Crete began wearing a bra-resembling garment, shoving their bare tits upward and thus protected their naked tits from their harsh clothing!"

"Moreover", continued a clearly excited Professor, "From 450BC-285AD the Greeks wore a bodice tied above the tits, leaving the tits naked. The wearing of corsets was prohibited so they used "the Apodesme" which was a small band of material wrapped around the tit, largely for functional reasons - to prevent the tits from moving when walking. The Roman women adopted the apodesme as worn by the Greeks, but the name was changed to "mamillare", "fascia" , "boob sorta". Young women wore the fascia to prevent the growth of their tits whilst the mamillare was used to conceal a very large tit."

"Indeed you had to wait until the 1930s until shape started to become acceptable , and the "bra" (a shortened form of the word "brassiere") changed from flattening the tits, to holding the tits firm."

Explaining his enthusiasm for the book the ageing academic said, "I just really love tits, I find everything about them fascinating. Therefore I find what surrounds them equally as interesting. To think that Bra's have been keeping tits in their place for over 3000 years. Amazing, totally amazing ".

Turning to our female correspondent, a , by now, fully erect Professor Trainor said, "I mean you've got tits haven't you, you must have worn a bra or two in your time."

Sensing that there was a strong possibility that the next question would involve her removing her bra our correspondent made her excuses and left.

The book entitled, "The Sociology of the Bra and the Tits they cover" is published by Harper and Row and will be released in hard back on September 15th.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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