Written by queen mudder

Tuesday, 31 July 2007

image for Skid row Hilton forced to sell home and move into trailer
Hilton is expected to move into a trailer just like this one belonging to Pete Doherty

Hollywood - (Ass Mess): It's back to the trailer-trash lifestyle for wannabe somebody heiress Paris Hilton in a dramatic week that has seen her cut off from her family's inheritance and blocked from any further monthly truss fund payments.

Hilton has had to put her Hollywood home up for sale after the bank foreclosed on a home loan guaranteed by Grandpoppy Hilton's $$$$s which werewithdrawn after a family bust up branded her a sloppy, over-exposed, attention-seeking trash heap.

The Spanish-style 1920s house is for sale at $4.25 million, But whoever buys the bijou residence will first have to spend another small fortune to hose it down from top to bottom with an industrial-srrength anti-bacterial and anti-fungal treatment because Hilton's maids quit in June before the Lynwood Jail incarceration and nobody has cleaned since.

"It's mainly canine fecal matter," the local realator said today in response to questions about the mansion's infestation.

"The pool also needs some attention, maybe sand-blasting and an e-Coli and c-Difficile extermination treatment after the drainage apparatus became cloged up hair extensions.

"Frankly, we'd advise a full Department of Sanitation safety certificate before marketing this property but the client seems very strapped for cash at the moment and this is reflected in the price of the porperty."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Paris Hilton

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