'Darker' Potter drug orgy scene set to shock parents

Funny story written by Spadge Dooley Esquire

Monday, 2 July 2007

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The eighteenth instalment of JK Rowling's Harry Potter series will shock it's young fans critics are warning.

Harry Potter and the Elixir of Rave will show teen heart-throb Daniel Radcliffe's character 'up to his pimply neck in high quality drugs, projectile vomiting almost pure cocaine, and dancing like Tracey off Big Brother as the disco biscuits kick in at the Hogwarts' end of term party' say sources close to the production.

JK Rowling had also promised that as Harry grew older his story was likely to become darker, although she and the producers of the films have fallen short of showing the true degradation and depredations of life at an English boarding school.

"No censor on God's Green Earth would allow that," an unnamed movie muppet said today. While lead actor Daniel Radcliffe has attracted hordes of salivating Potterettes with his on-stage-nudity in a West End Production of Equus, which, producers ensure The Spoof, was in no way a cynical attempt to hit the rich parents/demanding kids market.

However, Daniel 'Dan' Radcliffe will, if reports are to be believed, start to chug mightily on tasty, tasty cider, and cheap, cheap, white wine as he attempts to win the love of Hermione Granger.

New rave act The Klaxons have been drafted in to score a scene showing the teenage wizzgician and international money factory getting on one at the school party.

No-one was available to comment, however, it is not beyond the realms of possibility that the late Richard Harris would have said, "Nice one Danny, follow me to Soho, ha ha ha hah ahhaah aahahhha ahahahahahahaaa!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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