The Beach - After a positively persnickety first month at, by far, the worst-paying job he has ever held, young SpaceElevator is contemplating 'early retirement'. Sources close to the contributor of questionable gossip suggest that he dreams of perfecting his sand-castle-building technique.
"It's laughable that he actually thinks he should be receiving a paycheck any day now," said his evil half-twin brother, "...and also a little pathetic."
As a hypochondriac prone to hyperbole, the misinformed minstrel also believes that he has a case of late-stage fatal halitosis -- so he wants to spend his final days riding rollercoasters and watching nice sunsets.
During an impromptu press announcement, his fanbase of a handful of people let out a collective sigh of perceived sadness, followed by tears of joy for his future path in life.
