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Report Shows Contestants in Miss Universe Beauty Contest All From Earth

Funny story: Report Shows Contestants in Miss Universe Beauty Contest All From Earth

An investigation into the Miss Universe Beauty Pageant has revealed that contestants are always from planet earth. Years of documents going back to the event's inception have reportedly been uncovered, all of which show a consistent pattern of exclus...

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Miss Pennsylvania Is Ordered To Pay Donald Trump $5 Million

Funny story: Miss Pennsylvania Is Ordered To Pay Donald Trump $5 Million

CRANBERRY, Pennsylvania - The 2012 contestant who represented the state of Pennsylvania in The Miss USA Beauty Pageant, Sheena Monnin has just had the surprise of her fake smile life. Miss Monnin [Pronounced MOAN-IN] has been ordered by a judge to...

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Miss Pennsylvania Has Reportedly Gone Into The Witness Protection Program

Funny story: Miss Pennsylvania Has Reportedly Gone Into The Witness Protection Program

MANHATTAN - It appears by all accounts that the former Miss Pennsylvania, Sheena Junglevina Monnin, has gone into the nation's Witness Protection Program. The WPP is usually only reserved for members of the Mafia after they turn state's evidence a...

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Miss USA Rigged? I Think So Says Miss Cellulite

Funny story: Miss USA Rigged? I Think So Says Miss Cellulite

While another Miss USA contestant has come forward saying she heard Miss Florida Karina Brez reveal the list of the completion's finalists backstage before the pageant's Top 15 were even announced, Miss Cellulite, 43 year old waitress Maggie Flab say...

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Miss Pennsylvania Refuses To Apologize To Donald Trump and Says She's Moving Down To Mexico

Funny story: Miss Pennsylvania Refuses To Apologize To Donald Trump and Says She's Moving Down To Mexico

TROUT RUN, Pennsylvania - The former Miss Pennsylvania, Sheena Junglevina Monnin, was at a local Burger Bandit signing autographs with the purchase of a Burger Bandit Burger Combo Deal. She was asked by Taffeta Kixx with iRumors if she plans to ap...

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'Some blond contestants have rubbish hair' as Miss USA 2011 shots released

Funny story: 'Some blond contestants have rubbish hair' as Miss USA 2011 shots released

Las Vegas - An abandoned rats' nest teetering on foreclosure is how critics of pageant coiffure have summed up some contestants' hairdos ahead of this year's Fathers Day extravaganza. "That backcombed peroxide big hair look is still incredibly pop...

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Losers of Miss Hideous USA to Contest Final Results

Funny story: Losers of Miss Hideous USA to Contest Final Results

"Nah, that bitch ain't all that," Miss Mildred Gates, the Second Runner-up and winner of Miss Hideously Ugly Arkansas, bitterly complained during a post-pageant dust-up involving several of the contestants. "I'll be takin' this to the top!" she angr...

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Men Across America Intimate with Miss Michigan

Funny story: Men Across America Intimate with Miss Michigan

While the current Miss Michigan and now Miss USA title holder, Rima Fakih remains embroiled in controversy over her past photographic exploits, millions of men across America now reluctantly admit to having intimate relations with Miss Michigan.

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New Miss USA Won Stripping Contest!

Funny story: New Miss USA Won Stripping Contest!

Rima Fakih, the new Miss USA, won a stripping contest sponsored by Detroit radio station, it is being reported this morning. "It's true, I've seen the pics. They will be all over the net and in the tabloids by tomorrow morning", an insider told us...

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Arabian-Born Miss Michigan Wins The 2010 Miss USA Title

Funny story: Arabian-Born Miss Michigan Wins The 2010 Miss USA Title

LAS VEGAS - The winner of the 2010 Miss USA is Miss Michigan, Rima Fakih [pronounced: FUK-Ing]. The native of Arabia beat out 48 other American girls for the coveted title of Donald Trump's pageant. One of the judges, Minnesota Vikings quarterback...

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Carrie Prejean really fired for not being in two places at once?

Funny story: Carrie Prejean really fired for not being in two places at once?

Los Angeles, California - As the now former Miss USA's scheduling records will eventually prove, if ever they are released under this politically charged atmosphere not experienced since the Salem witch-burning saga during the colonial era of pre-Ame...

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Carrie Prejean's Spontaneous Boob Shots replaces "Sex on The Beach" cocktail drinks

Funny story: Carrie Prejean's Spontaneous Boob Shots replaces "Sex on The Beach" cocktail drinks

London, England - Drinknation.com has just the changed the famous cocktail drink "Sex on The Beach" to "Carrie Prejean Spontaneous Boob Shots." All the ingredients are pretty much the same: 2 oz. Cranberry Juice, 2 oz. Orange Juice, 2 oz. Pineapple...

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Miss USA may lose Crown, believes Alien was better than Predator

The winner of the Miss USA pageant, is in danger of losing her crown because of her controversial opinion about the Sci-Fi classic film "Alien Versus Predator." In a recent interview, while discussing one of her favorite movies, she answered a que...

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Miss California Says She's Moving To Wyoming

Funny story: Miss California Says She's Moving To Wyoming

LOS ANGELES - Miss California says that she is so mad that Perez Hilton ambushed her during The Miss USA telecast with his 'gay question' that she has decided to move to Wyoming where there are no gay people. Perez Hilton who is an avowed 'gay guy...

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US pageant judge/blogger, Perez Hilton, finds people named Jesus offensive

Funny story: US pageant judge/blogger, Perez Hilton, finds people named Jesus offensive

Hollywood, California - In an interview on the "Today" TV show infamous celebrity gossip blogger/political activist/expert beauty queen judge, Perez Hilton, said people named Jesus offend him. Speaking on behalf of Jews, Muslims and Atheists ever...

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Miss US runner-up recants her Anti-Gay Marriage stance

Funny story: Miss US runner-up recants her Anti-Gay Marriage stance

Las Vegas, Nevada - Folding to political correctness faster than a Chinaman can fold shirts at a Chinese Laundromat in Chinatown, Miss California US runner-up, Carrie Prejean, announced today that she no longer opposes same-sex marriages. Her stateme...

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Miss Universe and Miss USA tour Guantanamo

Funny story: Miss Universe and Miss USA tour Guantanamo

Guantanamo Bay, Cuba - Miss Universe and Miss USA have taken a firsthand look at the U.S. prison for terrorism suspects and 7-11 gas station owners at Guantanamo Bay. The beauty pageant winners took part in a VIP tour to entertain American militar...

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Complusory exorcism for Miss Universe contestants after second Miss USA hexed

Funny story: Complusory exorcism for Miss Universe contestants after second Miss USA hexed

Vietnam - (Bananaskin Mess): Future contestants in the Miss Universe pageant will be offered a state-of-the-art hex detox after Miss USA sponsors complained their luscious lovely's ass-over-tit tumble on the catwalk was the result of an ongoing c...

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Breaking news…

Trump Thinks Deaths at End of Avengers Infinity Wars Were Real

He sends the Secret Service to the movie set of Avengers 4 to do some investigating.
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