Damien Hirst In Trouble Over His Latest Artistic Undertaking

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Saturday, 26 May 2007

image for Damien Hirst In Trouble Over His Latest Artistic Undertaking
The last thing you want whilst waiting for a bus, is for Damien Hirst to be waiting in the queue behind you

This year's Turner Prize will have to do without former winner Damien Hirst, but that hasn't stopped the artist from unveiling two new pieces of work ahead of the competition.

A £100,000 jewel-encrusted skull is the first, whilst the other is a rather more controversial offering - an old woman pickled in urine.

The second work, quirkily entitled "Old Woman Pickled In Urine" is the latest result of Hirst's penchant for preserving life way beyond its sell-by date, and then subjecting appalled members of the general public to it.

The unidentified old woman was found barely alive at a bus stop in Redditch, and is featured complete with her shopping bags. The piece is bound to cause controversy, and has already come in for criticism.

Art critic Pablo Pistachio told reporters at a preview of the works to be judged:

"Hirst is an idiot. This isn't art, it's undertaking."

Nominees for this year's prize include Zarina Bhimji, Nathan Coley, Mike Nelson and Mark Wallinger, with only Bhimji's exhibition of photographs taken after she fled with her family from Uganda in 1974, being worthy of winning anything.

This year the competition is being held at a gallery outside of London for the first time at the Tate Liverpool. Organisers have warned artists that, due to the light-fingered nature of Merseyside, they display their work at their own risk.

The exhibition begins on 19 October 2007 and runs until 13 January 2008. The winner will be announced on 3 December.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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