Lindsay Lohan Rages on Arianna Huffington, not Paris Hilton

Funny story written by Ed E. Druckman

Monday, 14 May 2007


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(Los Angeles--CA) Linsday Lohan will be turning 21 this year, and the former "teen queen" wants everyone to know that as an adult she plans on doing more than visiting LA clubs and drinking, most of the time. It seems the child star is an adult politico with her newly launched blog, Lind-say. The entries, leaked to by Lohan, bespeak of a knowledge of current events that may prove she has indeed grown up. In fact, the first few entries are not about long time Lex Luther with cleavage rival Paris Hilton but a new foil, conservative Arianna Huffington.

03/24/07--Lohan describes why her blog will be more visited than that of the Greek pundit. "I read Aridanna Huffalot's blog today. Look, I'm a newbie to politics. But is the "b" in "blog supposed to stand for BORING? My motto is that the newbie with the boobies will steal a lot of visitors from Huffalot's blog when the newbie shows her two good reasons for entering the political debate." Visits to Lohan's blog shot up 1.25 X 10(23) power according to MediaTrax after Lohan attached an image of her in a wet Catholic High School Girl's uniform to this "virgin" entry.

Though Lohan claims herself "not alleged to any political party but the party of Life...and any party where I can drink free", she does believe that she is the female raspy voice of her generation

03/25/07--"Sure, women like Huffalot wrote all these books on how women were getting the shaft, and not in a good way, back in the day by the man meat of their gen. But, like let's face it, there's a pull date on the package; and maybe if they shook it, they'd still have it. I think I know a lot about men, like what they mean when they say things like 'reverse cowgirl'. But after thirty you can eat, like, a salami nude on a webcast and not even get them to buy you a Red Bull. Ask Paris Hilton. Just kidding, cuz. I luv you. It's time to bury the hatchet. BTW, how is all that jail woman love goin'? LOL. But it's true. I saw this movie by Fellinini. It was black and white but still cool. And in one scene, all of these old women have to go to the attic. It hurts, but I have to say to Aridanna...make way. I know one day I'll have to go, but until then...enjoy the debate;-) Lohan's blog shot up 1.25 X 10(35) power according to MediaTrax after she attached an upskirt shot of her grind dancing with Nicole Richie at the New York nightclub Crobar.

Political analysts are somewhat ambivalent on the exact influence Lohan will have on the upcoming election. It's an opinion best expressed by Kojak-esque left leaning pundit James Carville. "I read her blog every day. I don't really understand most of it, but I keep coming back to it. She has this "Lindsay Exposed' gallery. What can I say? She's hotter than Louisiana Tabasco in July." In a related note, Bill Maher, who is a subscriber to Lohan's vlog podcast, has refused to answer the question of why he has made her a permanent guest on Real Time with Bill Maher.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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