Lancashire - (Rioters): Outraged locals have caused £50,000 of damage to the Hogwarts Express steam locomotive stored in Carnforth, Lancashire as a protest against JK Rowling's continued fraudulent portrayal of being the rightful author of the Harry Potter series of children's fantasy stories.
In 2006 the UK High Court established that JK Rowling was the pen name of a famous British writer and that the convicted con artist calling herself Joanne K Rowling was Ted Turner's bastard daughter.
The double act has since milked royalities and box office receipts after duping hundreds of millions of children all over the world.
"I could never have done all this without Gordon Brown," Joanne Rowling famously once told the press.
"I could never have crawled back into profit without the help of the Bushes," Ted Turner famously once told US network TV.
As the perfidious duo continue their global deception, officers of the House of Lords cash-for-honors probe have been seen grinning from ear to ear as an international join-the-dots inquiry has finally led to Turner and a ton of whoppers in Karl Rogue's department.
Cherry Bush QC is apoplectic.