J.K. Rowling to release eighth book in Harry Potter series

Funny story written by Shirley Knott

Thursday, 29 March 2007

image for J.K. Rowling to release eighth book in Harry Potter series
It takes it out of you, this magic lark

LONDON - British author J.K. Rowling today announced she is currently at work writing an eighth book for her wildly popular Harry Potter series.

Rowling recently piqued the curiosity of her many fans by publishing, on her website, a short list of five plot teasers, and she assured fans "there will be more than a few dark and disturbing elements" in book eight. Titled Harry Potter: Quest For The Magic Negro, book eight will offer many exciting befuddlements for her dedicated readers.

The story opens with a scene of Harry Potter's 40th birthday party where he announces to friends and family that he is resigning his post as Minister of Magic and entering American politics via the 2024 Muggle presidential race.

At first, Ron Weasley strenuously objects until Harry begs Ron to give up his position as director of marketing for Weasleys' Wizard's Wheezes and join Harry as his political advisor and campaign manager. Ron immediately accepts but advises Harry that, as a British subject, Harry would have trouble qualifying for the office of president unless he hires ageing American political wizard, Lord Rovermort, as Ron's mentor.

Luna Lovegood Weasley calls both Harry and her husband, Ron, "boorish fools" as she cites the ominous outcome of Gilderoy Lockhart's My Year With The Yahoo Yanks. Harry and Ron ignore Luna's persistent protestations.

After a huge fight with his longtime flatmate, Neville Longbottom, Harry becomes determined to become "President Potter." He and Ron fly to America on their Nimbus 2020s to meet with Lord Rovermort who counsels Harry to "find the magic Negro" for his vice presidential candidate. Harry and Ron then set off on a wild and wacky wizarding adventure.

The book ends with the word "scar."


Shirley Knott reporting from London.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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