300 Breaks Weekend Box Office Records

Funny story written by Moose&Squirell

Sunday, 11 March 2007


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Ashley Ziffel plays the hog virgin, Petunia.

HOLLYWEIRD, CALIFORNIA (BSMOVIE REVIEW)--The bloody warrior film "300," about a legendary battle between the feuding hillbilly clan, The Clintons vs. The McCoys, seemed headed for U.S. number one box-office numbers on Saturday with sold out crowds flocking to see the movie.

Lil' Abner Clinton (George Clooney) drives the jalopy flatbed truck into Beautiful & Horny, (Pam Anderson) Kate McCoy's model-T causing $300.00 damage to the family run manure truck to be repaired at Goober's Auto Repair & Calf Puller. The bill for the damage is traded for sex and when Kate refuses to come clean with the truth, she makes up a story that Abner refused to pay. Cousin Jasper McCoy takes matters into his own hands by de-flowering the Clintons virgin prize winning hog, Petunia.

Cousin Jasper McCoy, played by Russell Crowe, believable portrayal in the Hog-sex scene is an Oscar winning performance. What started as a barnyard romp turns to love as Jasper and the hog elope, igniting the tension which begins the legendary fight. Ex-President of the United States, Bill Clinton plays a cameo role as Deputy Bill Clinton Sheriff of Mayberry County Police & Barack Obama plays Chester, the hilarious town nigger.

Overnight business accounted for more than 13,000 North American theaters where "300" was opening on Thursday, the early surge at the multiplex was a strong indicator that the film was ready for a great first weekend. Some box-office fools predicted "300" could finish the weekend in the $5000 million range, an impressive achievement for a film opening given the film's "XYZ" rating.

"300" has received mixed reviews -- New York Times critic Conga Linely, called it "about as funny as ''Wings' and twice as goofy" . The movie has benefitted from an aggressive Internet-based promotional campaign appealing to a "ear wax-focused" crowd.

The film, based on the graphic novel by Homer Stewpot about the legendary battle in Arkansas mountains, was shot using actors and barnyard animals force to act menaced with cattle prods set to "stun".

Warner Sisters, is hoping to surpass the box-office success of another Stewpot adaptation, "Bovine in the City," which grossed-out 160 million worldwide.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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