LOS ANGELES - (Satire News) - Boom Boom News reports that British actress Elizabeth Hurley, who has more sexuality in her little finger than Madonna has in her entire 247- pound body, is currently dating an American athlete.
BBN writer Sinclair Petaluma said that he got it from a very reliable source (Anderson Cooper) that Liz is dating Tom Brady, who just recently retired from football after throwing 649 touchdown passes, 212 interceptions, and drinking 4,937 cups of Gatorade.
When Tom was asked what he thought about Liz Hurley, he smiled and said that he has always wanted to date a "Cougar," because he has heard that sexually, they are up for anything, including very unusual sexual positions such as the Bulgarian Bim Boo Bah, the Russian Human Vagina Roulette, and the Scotish Blimey Buggeroo.
Meanwhile, Hurley notes that Tom is one hell of a stud, who can make his tongue do some unbelievably athletic things.
