In 1804, or whenever the hell it was, Ted Turner had his way with Hollywood – and she didn’t even see it coming!
He took a lot of old black and white movies and grabbed a box of crayons and started colouring in the lines.
This angered many people. But then they got over it, ‘cuz, after all, it’s just a movie and you probably didn’t see that many of them anyway, so what do you care, really?
Now, with the onslaught of Cancel Culture (coming soon to a dictionary near you, to catalogue all the idiocy that made it into the English language to define certain ridiculous ages), next up on the cancel block:
ANY MOVIE IN WHICH THERE IS SMOKING MUST BE DESTROYED!
That not only includes tobacco smoking, but also marijuana smoking (sorry Cheech & Chong) and buildings on fire (sorry Towering Inferno) and people on fire (sorry Zsa Zsa Gabor and Scarlett Johansson) and those cartoon where smoke comes out of a person’s ears or they blow their tops. Just no smoke anywhere from anyone or anything at any time.
It does not matter that people smoked in history and didn’t think twice about it. We of today think twice or three times about everything – but never four times! ‘Cuz then we might re-think things and realize how petty some of this cancel shit is.
(Recently, in an unnamed theatre in an unnamed politically-correct country, someone put on a play in which there is smoking. The theatre, the director, possibly the smoking actor or actors were also fined. Is there any smoking in a Shakespeare play? Better not be … today is smarter than yesterday – remember that for tomorrow!)
Now sit back and relax and enjoy our Feature Presentation.
