The NRA Reports That 4,000 Of It's Female Members Have Cancelled Their Membership

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Monday, 30 May 2022

image for The NRA Reports That 4,000 Of It's Female Members Have Cancelled Their Membership
Proud NRA member Gretchen Guttwax, 29, says she has the names of 41 members tattooed all over her ample body.

VIRGIN VULTURE, Virginia - (Satire News) - The well-respected QuinniPinni Poll Agency reports that their latest poll has found that 4,000 female members of the NRA have decided to cancel their membership.

An NRA insider, who refused to give his name, for fear of having his fellow NRAers turn him into a fucking pinata, remarked that the NRAettes just got fed up with having the NRA dudes refer to them as second and third rate members, as well as making comments about them being overweight, ugly as mulch, and as stupid as a woodchuck on ecstasy.

The unnamed source said that it is a fact that of the 4,000 female members who quit, a total of 3,293 were in fact overweight by anywhere from 9 pounds to 173 pounds.

One woman, who admitted to being 5-foot-1, and weighing 289 pounds, giggled like a high school cheerleader as she pointed out that even with her being 184 pounds overweight, she still got more dick than even Marjorie Taylor Greene.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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