A Homeless Man in Denver Becomes a Millionaire After Buying 1,000 Shares of Plexiglass at 7 Cents a Share

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Tuesday, 15 June 2021

image for A Homeless Man in Denver Becomes a Millionaire After Buying 1,000 Shares of Plexiglass at 7 Cents a Share
Since becoming a millionaire, the former homeless Tylin Bernard is now dating Denver Broncos cheerleader Susie Rappaport (L).

DENVER – (Satire News) – Plexiglass has just become like asphalt – everywhere you look you see it.

You see it in fast food restaurants, retail stores, movie theaters, grocery stores, and even in adult sex toy shops.

iRumors is reporting that a homeless man in Denver, Tylin Bernard 47, took his life savings ($70) last March, and purchased 1,000 shares in The Rocky Mountain Plexo Plexiglass Company at 7 cents a share.

And today, since every business in the entire nation is buying plexiglass in order to separate their employees from the customers, the price per share has gone up to $1,213.00, meaning that Mr. Bernard's shares are now worth an astounding $1,213,000!

Tylin told Vodka Vermicelli with iRumors that now when he goes to McDonalds, he can supersize the fries and the drink.

He also said that he no longer goes around collecting empty bottles of water, copper, or string.

SIDENOTE: Miss Vermicelli reports that Tylin Bernard has just bought a beautiful home, a 2022 Lexus, and he is currently dating one of the Denver Broncos cheerleaders Susie Rappaport, 24.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more