Animal Rights Group Vows To Disrupt Pamplona’s World-Famous Running of The Bulls

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Saturday, 8 May 2021

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Barcelona-native, Dolores De La Tequila, 97, is the oldest woman to ever run in Pamplona's Running of the Bulls.

PAMPLONA, Spain – (Satire News) – Spain’s national news agency, Los Frijoles, has just learned that hundreds of Persons for the Equitable Tolerance of Animals (PETA) members are planning to attend and disrupt this year’s world-famous Pamplona’s Running of The Bulls during the Annual Spanish Rice Festival.

The “Runs” as it is known locally, occurs between July 7 through July 14, and is attended by millions of party-going people from over 70 of the world’s civilized countries.

The event starts off with 12 fighting bulls at a McDonald’s parking lot and ends up 9 miles later at The Generalissimo Francisco Franco Commemorative Plaza de Toros (bullring) usually with 11 bulls.

The event sponsors do not like to put this fact out, but each year, at least one of the 12 bulls gets lost during the 9-mile run.

Two years ago, one of the event bulls wandered off of the designated bull-running route, and ended up in the tiny village of Nuevo Gazpacho, a distance of 37 miles.

Unconfirmed reports state that the bull, named El Toro Casanova Numero Cinco, had been bred to over 90 cows, in just two weeks.

A spokeswoman told the news media, that her group plans to fire harmless bright yellow, pink, and lavender permanent paintballs at the bulls.

She noted that this way the painted bulls will look like silly clown bulls and they will not be able to be used in the bullfights, because no respectable matador is going to risk being embarrassed as hell by facing a bull that looks like a Ringling Brothers, Barnum and Bailey circus clown.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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