LAS VEGAS – (Satire News) – Boom Boom News has just announced that the on-line dating service, eLibido.sex, has just become the top Internet dating service in the United States.
It has just surpassed eBoinking.dic, eHumpapalooza.wow, and eHooha.mmm.
Hacienda Fiddle, with Boom Boom News, pointed out that the thing that makes eLibido.sex stand out over all of the other dating services, is that the company guarantees anyone who pays for their services that they will get laid within 24 hours; regardless of whether they are a man, a woman, or a lesbionica.
They will also give you a $200 gift certificate that you can use at any one of the thousands of Marilyn Monroe Adult Sex Toy Shops located throughout the United States, Canada, and Northern Mexico.
The service did note that the state with the most members is California, with 907,742, and the state with the least is Iowa, with 6.
An executive with eLibido.sex, who spoke on grounds of anonymity, told Miss Fiddle, that three of the group's top customers are Senator Lindsay Graham, Tucker Carlson of Fox News, and President Donald Trump.