Lorraine Johnson sat through space documentary The Last Jedi with her husband Gary, partly out of affection, but more because she was told that heart-throb actor Tom Hardy was in it. She now dreads sitting through The Rise of Skywalker when it is released on December 20th, for which her husband has already bought the tickets.
'I was duped the last time,' said Lorraine. 'I was told that Tom Hardy was in it, and then I was told that he was a storm-trooper. I mean, that face was hidden behind a mask, and they let that green muppet, you know, the one who sounds like Fozzie, the bear, but who speaks funny, did they let him be seen? I don't understand the logic of that, and then the story was not up to much, was it?'
She went on 'And December 20th is prime Christmas party season, isn't it? I will probably have to give up a night with the girls at some night-club, flirting with much younger men, to sit through a film for kids.'
'Oh, well, at least it is the last one. Please tell me it is.'
No, Lorraine, we can't do that.