Hollywood - (Ass Mess): Veteran film-maker Roman Polanski is to direct a big screen remake of the famous British 1970s sit-com Up Pompeii! in a film adaptation of Rolf Harris's best-selling hagiography of the same name.
The movie epic will tell the real life-story of a Roman slave Pudendus Maximus and his preoccupation with big hairy gladiators and kangaroo mating rituals, set against the backdrop of the impending eruption of Mount Vesuvius.
Harris himself is rumored to be auditioning for the lead role after writing the entire script around a dozen cameo roles for antipodean mammals including kangaroos, wallabys and koala bears, which strictly speaking did not feature much in ancient Rome.
But director Polanski seems unfazed by with this subtle take on life in AD 79 and has even been tipped for
Whether he ever gets to collect one is academic because the LAPD still has an arrest warrant out for him following that 1977 business in Jack Nicholson's love shack and a 13 year old local beauty...
Rolf Harris is 72.