West Midlands police have released this photo-fit image of a desperado they want to interview in connection with a case of serial torture of innocent members of the general public.
Detective Inspector Richard III told us:
"We believe that m'laddo, aka Alan Bleasdale, is responsible for a whole raft of obscene publications what's been getting on people's nerves now for ages. The felon wins people over by pretending to be a writer and when they least expect it he publishes some utter trash like 'The Merchant of Venice'
This one book alone has traumatised millions for as long as we can remember. We need to catch this guy and put him behind bars where he belongs"
Police have warned the public not to go near the man as he is dangerous and he is armed with quills most probably dipped in poison. They say that anybody spotting him should phone Stratford on Avon CID and quote the code phrase "To be or not to be"