Ancient rockers 'The Strolling Bones' (name changed for legal reasons) are releasing their ultimate album because being geriatric rockers is becoming very difficult.
Jaggedone sent his fave rock CIA reporter, Pig Peel-Popup, undercover into their studio and here, sensationally, are the latest tracks on the soon-to-be-released album:
Title Track / Street Farting Man: Mick's homage to Keith who cannot control his flatulence on the tour bus.
'I Can't get no erection': Mick wrote this after Ronnie nicked his viagra on tour after being invited to a sex orgy by teenage, stoned groupies.
'Let's not spend the night together': Keith wrote this after admitting he never uses viagra!
'Gimme a pensioner shelter': Mick and Keith collaboration after the Inland Revenue demand £50million tax from them. They found one in the Bahamas!
'Sympathy for an OAP Devil': Mick's homage to fellow geriatric rocker, Ozzy Osbourne. Sadly, Ozzy didn't know who Mick Jagger was!
'Cum on': remake of Mick and Keith's first hit which they spelt wrong at the time because of the BBC!
'Get on my cloud': Realization song that death is just around the corner, and Mick is hoping his first wife, Jerry Hall, will join him!
'I wanna be your Tran': Mick wrote this to confirm the fact he fell in love with Bowie, but not in a gay way. It was a platonic love affair, but they kissed now and then!
Final title on this rather super, Jurassic album is:
'Beam me up': Revamped version of 'Start Me Up' because starting Mick, Keith and Charlie up is like revving up a Ford Model T, and Richard Branson has already booked them seats on his first 'Trip To Heaven' (not a stairway - that would be plagiarism pure!)