Disney Announces "Elon Musk's SpaceX Presents Marvel's Star Wars: The Frozen Force Avengers" Mashup Movie

Funny story written by EvilAlwaysWins

Tuesday, 22 December 2015

Disney is raking in tons of dough from its Frozen, Marvel, and Star Wars franchises. So much so that it's contracting with Elon Musk's SpaceX to store some of that money on Mars ("Get your assets to Mars!").

Of course, while stockholders are happy with the revenue raining in, they are pressing Disney to keep up the momentum lest they decide to invest their money elsewhere. Exemplifying this sentiment is stakeholder Ben Jamin, who says "I appreciate Disney's 209% revenue growth the last year BUT if they can't exceed that this upcoming year then its time to pull out my money and dissolve the company."

Due to investor pressure, Disney has decided to go forward with the ultimate gambit: a mashup movie based on its most profitable franchises. "Elon Musk's SpaceX Presents Marvel's Star Wars: The Frozen Force Avengers" will open in the summer of 2017. While Disney is tight-lipped, a leak on TMZ gives us a look at what the film will be about:

Anakin Skywalker's ghost contacts Elon Musk to take a SpaceX rocket to meet with Kylo Ren, who has awakened to help his master Gollum, er, Snoke, plunge the galaxy into darkness. The Avengers are called upon to stop this threat. However, they underestimate the power of the Dark Side and find themselves to be no match for Anakin, Kylo, and Smeagol, er, Snoke. Reeling, they decide to contact Frozen's Anna, figuring that since she can break a dark winter's spell, she might also be able to combat the Dark Side. Anna's beautiful singing truly soothes the savage Dark Side, and the galaxy is saved until the next sequel.

Disney shares rose 1.1% in after-hours trading in response to the news.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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