A Royal Expert has revealed that Donald Trump is probably Prince Harry's dad. Lord Sally, who was a close confidante of Queen Elizabeth, explained that Princess Diana, Harry's mother, had an insatiable sexual appetite and that nine months before…
Alderaanian Queen Breha Organa this morning announced that the planet will be introducing a carbon tax in response to growing concerns about the climate. The announcement comes in the wake of a new report which identifies climate change as the primar…
I still can’t figure out what America’s newest military branch, Space Force, does. It sounds like something from Hollywood, and was invented by someone who used to be a TV star. Is there a war in space about to happen? Will Space Force “Guardians…
Despite not making a good movie since the early Bush Administration, Martin DiBergi has a new movie on the horizon. Don’t worry, you won’t remember it in five days, let alone in five years. Because it’s the only way these people can get publicity for…
Jabba should have known better than to use the discount flyer. First, he couldn't bring all the baggage he needed to support his immense girth. Then, they wouldn't allow him to take along his three huge coolers of dried Wankon jerky (on previous…
Barry and Dave are arguing, as normal. You would think nothing of it if was just two blokes in a pub, arguing, but Barry and Dave are two storm-troopers, feared across the galaxy for their skills in losing droids, falling for Jedi mind tricks, and be…
In a leaked Palace document, Her Majesty, The Queen has revealed that she wants to be buried alongside the Star Wars droid, Artoo Deetoo. In an appendix to her will, The Queen states: "I have always been a huge fan of the Star Wars series of films…
"Jaws" : A crazy fisherman plans to buy a bigger boat until he's gobbled up by a giant pre-"Sharknado" shark. "Star Wars - The Empire Strikes Back" : A dyslexic Muppet trains a farm boy to use his head and deal with his daddy issues. "Star Trek…
MP’s concerned about box set bingeing are considering a ‘Box Set Bank Holiday’ so people can catch up. Is ‘Box Set Stress’ a real thing, or is it just an excuse to slob around the house all day? Brenda O’Lox who runs a Box Set Stress support group…
The controversial father of the Duchess of Sussex, Thomas Markle, is to star in a Broadway musical version of Star Wars, playing the slug-like crime lord, Jabba The Hutt, reprising the role he made famous in the blockbuster movie. Markle, 107, has...
Ever since Disney+ became active with a re-released and slightly edited version of the original Star Wars movie, A New Hope, the word “Maclunkey” has become the topic of intense discussion, debate, and emotional turmoil. Suddenly, in the ever-changi...
We met up with "force-free" Vader at a cantina on Tatooine, where he works as a waiter and lounge singer. He was willing to tell us about his upcoming book, Force of Habit - Behind the Breathey-Scary Mask Thingy, which chronicles his early years as a...
The light-speed emergence into the world of entertainment of Manchester United central defender, Harry Maguire, has not gone unnoticed in Hollywood, and earlier today, it was revealed by Lucasfilm and Bad Robot Productions that the footballer is to m...
Lorraine Johnson sat through space documentary The Last Jedi with her husband Gary, partly out of affection, but more because she was told that heart-throb actor Tom Hardy was in it. She now dreads sitting through The Rise of Skywalker when it is rel...
When telecommunications pioneer Alexander Graham Bell spoke the famous words "When one door closes, another door opens", he couldn't possibly have had Jussie Smollett in mind, but those were precisely the words that would have been ringing in the dis...
A myth that has surrounded the Star Wars franchise for more than forty years was busted wide open yesterday with the news that the Wookiee character, Chewbacca, was actually a man dressed in a monkey suit! The story broke after the sad news of the...
Washington D.C. - Not to be outdone by their counterparts in the U.S. House of Representatives, who recently showed up at the Michael Cohen hearing with a poster reading "Liar Liar Pants on Fire", Republican Senators have once again proven that they...
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