Cupertino - Some lucky wrist will be showcasing the 42mm 18-carat rose gold smartwatch when Apple's new baby is launched this weekend.
And you can bet your bottom dollar it won't be Madonna or Kim Kardashian - let alone some ugly Russian oligarch's brazilianed ho - who'll be flashing the million dollar Cupertino sparkler.
Forget, too, celebrity Z-Listers like Beyonce, Angelina, Amal Clooney and jumped-up nonentity Brit slag Kate Middleton.
Apple's million dollar baby wouldn't be seen dead anywhere near that kind of cyber trailer-trash, regardless of the fanzines' carping.
"The identity of the owner of this exclusive one-off remains a secret," West Coast horology goldsmith Waldo Ingott tweeted from his exclusive subterranean atelier somewhere off Chesbro Reservoir.
"Wanna see blueprints for the Platinum Apple Watch Edition that also composes 100-word absurdalia called 'Spoofs?' "
