Music Trend: 'Drool' Poised To Surpass 'Teardrop' in Pop Song Lyrics

Funny story written by Pete Smith

Friday, 27 March 2015

image for Music Trend: 'Drool' Poised To Surpass 'Teardrop' in Pop Song Lyrics
tears or drooling

The music industry, currently on an endless cycle reinvention to keep up with the listening patterns of fans, is coming to grips with the latest study released by trend watcher Faith Popcorn. From Popcorn's website BrainReserve, artists and music executives lit up the twittersphere with this headline: "Prediction: Song lyric staple, the 'teardrop', will give way to another fluid discharge, drool, by 2017".

"This takes all of the pop music of the last century and turns it on its head" said Nate Katzman, a music promoter who's been an industry fixture since the 1960's. With his tweet #droolrules!, Katzman has been predicting with glee, something that would re-energize listeners who have historically enjoyed songs about tears and crying. "Frankly, the teardrop has had a nice run but there's a new kid in town when it comes to facial discharges." he said, while cradling a phone in his ear, placing an order of drool themed t-shirts, in the hopes of, according to Katzman, "…generating some drool buzz."

Indeed the teardrop has had quite a reign. For decades, it's been held as the iconic symbol of love and longing, benefitting from such musical champions as Jackie Wilson ('Lonely Teardrops') and of course Smokey Robinson, who invoked the chart-friendly teardrop, not once but twice ('Tracks of My Tears' and 'Tears of a Clown')!

Also left in the wake of the 'teardrop era' are such recording giants as Los Lobos ('Tears Inside') and more recently, Beck ('Lonesome Tears').

Of course one recording duo was so heavily invested in the teardrop era that 'Tears for Fears' even incorporated it into their name. "But this is an opportunity." said an excited Roland Orzabal, the more mop haired half of the team. He explained that with the advent of the 'drool era' he and TFF partner Curt Smith were re-working one of their biggest hits for a new release. Fans should expect to see 'Everybody Wants to Drool the World' available on iTunes sometime in July.

As to the cultural factors leading up to the ascension of drooling as a something worthy of song, Popcorn pointed to several factors. "We can't discount the impact of clozapine." she said, referring to the antipsychotic medication of which drooling is a side effect. The data suggests she might be right. As mental health treatment becomes increasingly available and less stigmatized, drooling and other side effects have become more common. "We're going mainstream." added Popcorn, herself a clozapine user, while wiping away a drool chord from her lower lip.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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