Bob Geldof has his passport confiscated by British government - at request of people of Africa

Written by Anne of Cleavage

Wednesday, 19 November 2014


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Bob Geldof: "Just give me your f*****g money"

Self-righteous tax-dodger (alleged) and one-time musician Bob Geldof has announced that he will be challenging a decision by the Home Secretary to take sway his passport and prevent him from travelling to Africa to promote his new (-ish) song "Do they Know It's Christmas".

The smelly sack-of-shit, who was to fly out in a private jet, to highlight the fact that most people in Africa don't have Christmas trees, turkey dinners, crackers and Christmas pudding.

The last time he visited the continent, while handing out free copies of the original Band Aid single "Do they Know It's Christmas" released in 1984, Geldof was asked by one erudite man about why he doesn't pay tax or make any contributions of his own to charity, to which the irritating asswipe replied:

"That's b******s, you're so full of s**t, you dumb w****r, you don't know anything, you don't have sports cars and Armani clothes, shut the f**k up and just accept our free charity. God I hate you and your people. You're so full of yourselves."

The travel ban was imposed at the request of millions of people across sub-Saharan Africa to stop Geldof returning to their countries and annoying them again in the name of charity. Meanwhile, in an unexpected development, the travel ban has also been challenged by hundreds of thousands of British people who have signed an e-petition on the Downing Street website, requesting that the ban be rescinded temporarily to enable Geldof to fly out to Africa but restored once he sets foot on foreign soil, to prevent him from returning and annoying millions of innocent British people during Christmas and the rest of the year.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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