Bob Geldof finds a new life as a pimp

Written by Peter Stevenson

Wednesday, 7 September 2011


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Geldof is apparently so "money" as a pimp that he is considering dropping the "give us your fooking" in his title.

The world's premier money-raising Irishman Bob Geldof has moved on from his charity days to secure a new role in the seedy underworld of prostitution.

Geldof's agent, Sax Mifford spoke publicly about the shift in career path: "In 1985, the one sentence that Bob Geldof could say in English - namely 'give us your fooking money' - was a great help to Live Aid," said Mr Mifford.

"However, nowadays, existing in daily life using only that sentence often gets him into scrapes, and he is tired of the attention."

Following a failed attempt to educate him on other words, Mr Geldof had a Eureka moment when he realised he could well serve any industry where procurement of money is the primary concern. Apparently excited, he rang Mr Mifford to inform him of the idea.

"I'll never forget when he [Geldof] rang me up," said Mr Mifford. "He was so excited, and said 'give us your fooking money....give us your fooking money....give us your fooking money'. I was immediately sure he was on to something."

After attempts to secure an interview in debt collection, Mr Geldof has now found a position as a pimp."It's perfect," continued Mr Clifford. "He can now just chase down clients and get them to pay. I'm so proud of him."

However, this has meant that Live 2012 - a planned concert to succeed Live Aid and Live 8 - will no longer be going ahead. In a statement to reporters, Mr Geldof explained his decision:

"Give us your fooking money."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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