Written by King David

Tuesday, 14 November 2006

image for School Librarian Turns Into Witch
Put those books back in Dewey Decimal order, or else!

CURDLED MILK-NC, In a scene reminiscent to mild mannered David Banner turning into the green, Incredible Hulk, a librarian in a local middle school today turned into a witch. Everyone who knows the librarian was shocked to hear about the incident.

"She always uses correct grammar and speaks in a quiet voice to us," says student, Megan Proust. "I can't imagine her turning into a witch."

Eye witnesses say Northern Middle School librarian, Sally Small was calmly putting books away on the shelves when she started shaking.

Student's could see a change coming over their librarian when her arms and legs began turning a bright, lime green and the dress she was wearing sported a cape and turned black. Then, they saw her nose grow a couple of inches and bend downward in front of her face. Her slender fingers tapered longer and sprouted sharp fingernails two inches long as her hair fell down her back, out of the bun holding it in a tight fist next to her head and darkened to a pitch black.

Miss Small was then said to have picked up a tall, black pointed hat left over from one of the Halloween displays in the library and pop it on top of her head. Then, she proceeded to walk around the room hunched over, quickening her pace and turning her head back and forth directly addressing each student that she came to and threatening to turn them all into mice and frogs if they didn't behave and get their work done.

Student's who thought it was all a joke kept talking only to find that Miss Small wasn't kidding and really did have the power to turn them into frogs and mice. "Poof!" "Poof!" "Poof!"

Student Rachel Cunningham said that she has never seen anything like it before except when her preacher gets excited preaching the sermon on Sunday morning.

"When he starts spittin' and hollerin' those Hallelujahs and Amens, you'd think the whole roof was going to cave in," she said.

Students using the library at the time were said to have been a little more talkative than usual, probably due to the upcoming holidays.

"Everyone has a limit," said Sandra Ellsworth the school counsellor. "I guess Miss Small reached hers."

School officials for the county said that they would investigate the incident and fill out a full report. One board member commented that they were surprised that there were still witches left in the area.

"We thought that we had run them out 100 years ago," school board member James Fry told reporters.

One parent was hysterical that the school system had hired a witch and threatened to sue if her son was not turned back into a boy immediately.

The principal for the school, John Ramiano, was at a workshop for administering the End of Grade Tests and could not be reached for comment.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: School, Occult

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