"Ban Rowling or face more school shootings" warns Atlanta mom

Funny story written by queen mudder

Wednesday, 4 October 2006

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"It's sickening": Laura Mallory

Loganville, Atlanta, Ge - (Associated Mess): Indoctrinating children is the sole preserve of Pro-Bush fundamentalist TheoCons parents and should not be put out to wiccan-agenda foreign franchise operators like J K Rowling who only pollute young minds and brainwash them into senseless acts of random violence.

That is the grim warning from an 'ordinary' Atlanta mom, Laura Mallory, who has told the media that she has become 'sickened' at the way in which evil is promoted by the Harry Potter books' insidious recruitment campaign to swell the wiccan ranks with its 'fun' agenda of religious witchcraft.

Mallory told a Georgia Board of Education appeal hearing that in her opinion the recent spate of senseless school shootings in the United States had been prompted by the brainwashing evil agenda of the Potter stories which polluted young minds and caused them to act out the kind of fiendish fantasies that erupted in the carnage seen on coast to coast television in the last few weeks.

The answer to the problem clearly lay in wholesome literature such as The Bible - with its unique Old Testament slant on organised crime agendas such as genocide, incest, fratricide, child abuse, inter-racial squabbling and the divine retribution that results from reading too many fantasy literature imports.

Mrs Mallory was questioned by the Education Board and asked whether her children had been allowed to watch television news coverage of President Bush's national addresses, including footage of the Iraq invasion and subsequent civil war atrocities.

"Why of course they have. As a patriot and a believer, I believe it is every parent's duty to expose my children to the right kind of educational coverage that US broadcasters provide and to support our President in whatever he tells us Godfearin' folks is right and proper."

It was Mrs Mallory's second attempt to get the Potter stories banned from Georgia schools and replaced with more suitable literature approved by decent church-going folk who voted for the death penalty, the freedom to carry arms, the banning of stem-cell research, continuing Bush Administration torture policies at Guantanamo Bay and the complete destruction of all references to Charles Darwin's Theory of Evolution from educational establishments throughout the United States.

And she warned that unless the Georgia Education Board takes her remarks seriously, there will be an unprecedented escalation of gun-related violence in schools and educational establishments as the War of Terra metamorphoses into the Armageddon-like proportions foretold in the Bible which has always warned that the Anti-Chtist wiccan perpetrators of satanic evil would try to infiltrate young American minds.

Although Mrs Mallory offered no evidence to substantiate her case, the Georgia Education Board has nevertheless allowed her to state her argument in the interest of a fair, rational, logical hearing to determine just what - or who - is behind today's agenda of destruction in the United States of America.

The hearing continues.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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