Kristen Stewart: Robert Pattinson Acting Strange

Funny story written by Bureau

Friday, 6 December 2013

image for Kristen Stewart: Robert Pattinson Acting Strange

Word on the street is that Kristen Stewart is telling friends that her guy, Robert Pattinson, was acting strange and had done so before.

Ms. Stewart began by telling friend, Taylor Lautner and he passed it on to others who wanted to help Pattinson get through this. No one informed any reporters about the earlier episode but there were a few present this time that weren't there during the last episode.

"What I got to hear and tell you, you can pay me but no names, please." So we told him we usually were good on that promise because we would never get another interview.

Apparently Robert Pattinson had disguised himself and got a job as a waiter at the, let's just say a New York restaurant as a waiter. He would constantly walk around with a pepper shaker and ask if the lady (usually) would like some fresh pepper on her salad.'

"I have no idea why? It was just like the last time. He lost his job after a couple of nights and then he came back to see Stewart, acting as if nothing had happened."

Then we got a surprise. Another friend came up and told us that he KNEW why Pattinson did what he does.

"Remember, he did this same type of thing only as a bus boy before and that time he was asking about the sea salt?"

SSSSsshh! The other guy stated, "I told the reporter..."

"No, it's no big thing. This is the lowdown. Pattinson says he gets into these roles he plays and then he thinks being an actor can change a person so much, he was actually going to try something else. Well, he talked to his analyst, he has the same one Woody Allen sometimes sees and the advice was: Go do something else. See how it feels being a car salesman of a waiter and you'll get back to wanting to be an actor really soon."

Seems like it works. Pattinson, we hear, is acting normal (for him) and this also gives us an idea why Woody Allen plays the clarinet so often. It's a change.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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