Written by The Red Menace

Monday, 15 April 2013

Following news of teen-sensation Justin Bieber's comments in the Anne Frank museum guestbook, a Bavarian spirit guide has managed to find Bieber a fan from the afterlife - Adolf Hitler.

The medium, Hans Gruber, says that the message from the former fuhrer came during a seance at a dinner party.

"I was hoping to speak to speak to my dear grandmother" said Gruber "when all of a sudden Hitler turned up and annexed the link to the otherworld".

In a conversation that lasted five minutes, Hitler surprised guests by expressing his admiration for the Canadian pop sensation's music, and how he'd hoped that Bieber would have been a fan of National Socialism and the Aryan master race.

Citing "My World" as his favourite song, the ex-Austrian private and failed artist said "I like to think that Justin would have been part of my world too".

Hitler had also revealed that he had formed a boy-band - Final Solution - with other former members of his Nazi government and had even scored a minor hit in the supernatural top 40 with their single "I'm So Reich For You Girl".

The seance ended with Hitler singing his own version of Bieber's "Never Let You Go" before communication was interrupted by Gruber's guests projectile vomiting.

Sources close to Bieber said that, whilst he appreciates expanding his fanbase, a following amongst dead Nazis in the seventh level of hell was not something anyone wanted to encourage. Bieber, who was in Paris scribbling his website address to the painting of the Mona Lisa, was unavailable for comment.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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