Written by Abel Rodriguez

Tuesday, 19 March 2013

image for Ann Coulter Suggests Justin Bieber Get Into Rehab Soon
Coulter says Bieber needs to check into The Henry & Betty Ford Rehab Clinic. (Photo courtesy of Charlie Sheen).

NEW YORK CITY - Ann Coulter is well-noted for butting into everyone's business and not just those in the political arena.

She has made comments directed towards sports figures, television personalities, movie celebrities, music artists, and circus performers.

The latest to feel the stings of a Coulter barb is Justin Bieber.

Coulter appeared on Piers Morgan Tonight and told the British host that enough is enough and Justin needs to really see about checking into the Henry & Betty Ford Rehab Clinic ASAP.

Ann, who is one of the most despised political pundits in the entire nation, said that Justy has shown that he is immature by driving at speeds of up to 121 miles per hour, getting into verbal spats with reporters, and most recently asking a 97-year-old lady if she ever dated Francis Scott Key.

The self-avowed Republican princess pointed out that the Biebs, as Ryan "Peaches" Seacrest calls him, has become the female version of Lindsay Lohan.

Coulter said that JB's troubles first began when his girlfriend Selena Gomez dumped his speeding little butt.

Since then "Downhill" Bieber has tried desperately to get Selena to take him back, but she has said that she would rather go out on a date with that weirdo Joaquin Phoenix than to get back together with him.

In an ironic twist, Taffeta Kixx, with L.A.'s Gossipette Gazette has stated that Lindsay Lohan told her that she hopes that Justin goes into rehab because he really and truly needs to get his act together and do it real soon before he implodes.

[WRITER'S NOTE: Hmmm...perhaps Lindsay Lohan's next movie should be called Pot - Kettle].

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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