Pluto the Pooch Plans a Name Change

Funny story written by Gail Farrelly

Thursday, 17 August 2006

image for Pluto the Pooch Plans a Name Change

Ever since the news broke that Pluto (the so-called ninth planet) might not be a planet after all, Pluto the pooch is unhappy with his name and wants to change it. "It's time to move on," he's told Mickey Mouse and other friends. "That name is toast. It's over, that's it. Who wants to share a name with a loser? I'm outta here, as far as this Pluto thing goes."

He admits it's hard, at the age of 76, to change his name. "But what the heck," he's been heard saying, "psychologists tell us we have to be ready to accept change at ANY age." He points out that there are numerous names out there; he just has to take his time and find the right one. One that will stand the test of time and not go down in disgrace. He's bought tons of books on the topic of "naming your baby" and spends hours and hours looking for inspiration. He likes a fairly short name, so he's decided to limit himself to names having six or fewer letters. Pluto has prepared a preliminary list (five names so far) of possible name choices with some notes supporting his choices. Spoof spies were able to sneak out a copy of the list:

1. TRUMP (No one would dare take down "The Donald.")

2. PLATO (Ancient philosophers are exempt from criticism.)

3. PRINCE (Seems good, but will confer with the artist formerly known as Prince to find out why he dumped the name.)

4. GOTTI (Very appropriate, since Pluto was the name of the Roman god of the underworld.)

5. COURIC (A timely choice, but will have to check with Katie to see if she approves.)

This is a rough time for Pluto; the name controversy has produced a bit of an identity crisis for him. He's been quoted as saying, "Hey, if Pluto isn't a planet, what does that make me? Chopped liver?" He is, however, hanging in there. He's trying to keep calm by reading Shakespeare and takes comfort in his words, "What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet..."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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