Selena Gomez Says Justin Bieber Is History

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Friday, 18 January 2013

image for Selena Gomez Says Justin Bieber Is History
Selena said that she gave Justin back the five bras that he bought her for Christmas.

CHICAGO - Selena Gomez traveled to Chicago to visit an old high school friend.

While in the Windy City, she was asked by Hollywood Innuendo's Margarita Mixx how she was doing now that her and Justin Bieber are no longer an item.

Selena smiled and said that she has never been happier. She noted that she got tired of wearing so many different hats; nurse maid, confidante, therapist, adviser, nutrition expert, and ego feeder.

She also pointed out that she did not appreciate Justin harping on the fact that she was older than him. She said that he had started referring to her as his cougar.

That really upset Selena since when she thinks of a cougar she thinks of someone old like Demi Moore, Kathy Griffin, and Madonna.

When asked if Bieber had called her, Selena raised her eyebrows and said that he calls her an average of 17 times a day and sends her about 20 texts daily.

When the 20-year-old was asked about the rumor that Justin wants to try and get together with Jenny McCarthy, who at 40, is twice his age, Gomez rolled her eyes and said that as far as she is concerned Justin can have a dozen girlfriends.

She noted that now that Justin is history she is seriously contemplating writing a book about their relationship which she plans on calling The Elevator.

When asked why that name - she replied because for the last year, their relationship was nothing but an up and down game

SIDENOTE: To see two dozen astonishingly explicit photographs of Jenny McCarthy that recently appeared in PlayGuy Magazine log on to

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more