Len Goodman Hints He May Depart Dancing With The Stars

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Monday, 26 November 2012

image for Len Goodman Hints He May Depart Dancing With The Stars
A pair of Len Goodman's size 13-D dancing shoes. (Photo courtesy of Carrie Ann Inaba).

HOLLYWOOD - There is probably no one in Hollywood who is grouchier than Len Goodman, the British judge on Dancing With The Stars.

The 68-year-old native of London recently told Tahiti Zeppelin with Hollywood Hors D'oeuvres that the thrill of being a DWTS judge has lost its luster.

He added that he has gotten pretty fed up with the constant booing that he is subjected to by the studio audience.

He went on to say that he figures that he probably receives about 300 angry emails a week calling him everything from a son of a (BLANK) to a no good (BLANK).

Goodman, who is a professional ballroom dancer, commented that he does not have to put up with all of this BS like other Brits do such as Simon Cowell, Nigel Lythgoe, Piers Morgan, Ricky Gervais, and Russell Brand.

The man known as The Grouchy Grouch remarked that one day last week he was at a Tall Timbers Supermarket Store in Hacienda Heights and a little lad of about six looked up at him and told him that he did not like him.

Goodman asked the little boy why not, and he replied because you are mean to my sister Hattie's hero Maksim Chmerkovskiy.

The boy added that his sister also said that Goodman thinks he knows it all but in actuality he doesn't know diddly squat. Hattie also reportedly remarked that Len is about as likable as athlete's foot and dandruff.

Goodman noted that even fellow judge Bruno "The Gaytalian" Tonioli told him last week as the two were having dinner at a Silly Sardine Seafood Restaurant in Cucamonga that he is starting to become bitchy as hell and is actually beginning to resemble Ann "Trigger Face" Coulter.

Len said that Bruno's remark hurt him to the quick. He confessed that he has never been more hurt than he was by that statement.

The British judge expressed the fact that he thinks that Coulter is one of the ugliest women on American television.

SIDENOTE: The shows host Tom Bergeron was asked by Hollywood Hors D'oeuvres who he would like to see replace Len Goodman. Tom raised his eyebrows and replied matter-of-factly, "Oh my goodness, anybody. Believe me ANY-BODY!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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